Monday, September 29, 2008

No response?

We've all had this happen: you put the word out that something very exciting has taken place in your life, then sit back and wait.

Only... two hours later, there's nothing. No blinking lights on your telephone keypad. No flooding of emails in your inbox. No text messages. No call from your children, best-friend, or mother.


So what do you make of that?

Are you unloved and unappreciated? Unimportant? Or just plain lousy at getting the word out?

It's a fast-paced world. I'm betting you'd be hard-pressed to find anyone who is totally so unimportant that nobody gives a hoot. Especially mum. And really, if all that were true, why would something exciting be happening to you in the first place?

Any chance you thought you clicked SEND, but it turns out that important message is in your DRAFT folder by mistake?

You've checked your DRAFT folder and, sadly, it's not there. The chances of everyone not finding the time to respond is slim. But not completely unlikely.

First of all, it's not personal. They aren't ignoring you. They're caught up in life's dramas, just as you are. They saw your message. They had a reaction. Good, bad, indifference. They just didn't (for reasons that probably have nothing at all to do with you) find the time to respond.

People care. That's why you're on their Facebook, Twitter, Gather, etc etc. That's why you're on the wedding list, maybe even in the wedding party. It's why you're invited to parties, dinners, barn raisings, and all those many other events you sometimes wish you weren't invited to.

However, if that all-important message ended up being sent to colleagues, people who don't necessarily adore you but who respect your contributions, not to mention your God-given talent, then chalk it up to lack of time. Nobody thinks they're the only one who can't respond at that precise moment. They're hoping if you don't see a message from them, you won't notice because you'll be swamped with messages.

Okay, that may not work if you posted you message on a public bulletin board, for everyone to see. If that's the case, maybe you are the most unimportant person you know. Just kidding. There are always reasons for a lack of response. You're new. Your timing is bad. Something momentous is happening at work, or on your list. Your little message was swallowed up by the bigger picture. Or everyone who didn't answer assumed everyone else replied privately.

Again, trust me, it's never personal.

For whatever reasons your message was missed, it doesn't matter. And it shouldn't stop you from ever posting again. Simply lift yourself up, brush yourself off, and next time somebody posts an announcement about something exciting taking place in their lives, take a moment and acknowledge them. Even a simple "Bravo" goes a long way.

And besides, it'll say volumes about you.


  1. Well, I enjoyed this post and was going to surf on to wherever I was heading before I decided to detour through your blog. I figured I could come back later and respond. You'd never notice I didn't say "well done" and don't really need my encouragement.

    Hmmm. Didn't I just read something about that recently?

    So here it is now: very "adult" post. And so true, even though the truth is somewhat infortunate.

    Please keep us updated on your accomplishments. I cheer you on even when you can't hear me do it. Nice to know you realize that, but like most people, I need to cheer so I can be heard sometimes.

  2. I love this article! Your lighthearted twist to a stark reality made my read well worth its weight in gold!

    Loved it!


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