You know how I can tell this New Beginning & Self-Love attitude is working? I look out our living room window and think: What a beautiful scene, instead of my standard, "Yikes, I hate winter!"
The thing changing your life is it doesn't happen overnight. I've recently exchanged chapters with a writer I just recently met on a writer's list. I submitted the first chapter of manuscript number six. If you're a writer, you know what a big deal it is to show off your baby. It can open you up to all sorts of emotion turmoil. After doing this for 15 years, you'd think I'd be an old pro. I'm not. I still get butterflies. And while I'm waiting for feedback? Oh dear.
This time was different. Before I sent off the chapter I changed my internal monologue to Joylene, you know you can write. You also know you can't please everyone. You also need feedback before you go much further.
As a writer, being objective is tough. That's why God created critiques. He knew we'd need help. And as it turns out, my reader was very helpful. Not only did she see the potential, but she pointed out something I already knew, I tend to ramble in my first drafts. Too much descriptions. Too slow getting started. Okay, it did bug me that I've yet to write a perfect first draft (lol), but what was overdone or undone was was fixable. More importantly, what was right was my prose. And that's exciting because there was a time when my grammar would have been full of errors and my sentence structure all over the place. Sometimes I use too much backstory. But -- I've come a long way, baby.
Health-wise, I've also taken a big step: I've quit weighing myself. That may not seem like a huge accomplishment, but I did the nasty deed every single day for probably the last 15 years. Sure I missed a few days but we're talking maybe 7 out of 365. Does the word compulsive ring a bell? To go an entire week without weighing and more importantly not be freaked about it, is indeed a major life change. Whooray!
It's a slow process turning your life around, but I'm here to say it can be done. Every time a discriminating thought about myself enters my head, I vaporized it. I remind myself that I'm a survivor, I have a successful first novel, a wonderful family, the best friends in the world and an ole bod that is still kicking. What more could I ask for?
Okay, an interview on Larry King would be nice.