Wednesday, October 3, 2012

October Peace

It's the first Wednesday of October and yes--that means it's time for Alex J. Cavanaugh's INSECURE WRITER'S SUPPORT GROUP.



We're all about sharing and supporting each other. Click on the link above to join.



For a long time, October have felt both beautiful and heart-rending. For many years, I've tried to shake the doom and gloom associated with this month. I lost a child and a parent in October. Self-perseverance dictates I learn to experience all the wonders of the season without letting this gigantic ache in my heart consume me. I thought I was succeeding, but the advancement of years seems to have weakened my resolve.

Time for change. 

At this precise moment, I acknowledge that the recurring sorrow of October is part of my journey through life. I don't need pity, I don't need cookies, I just need to let October be as it was meant to be: A symbol of what I've loved and lost. 

Someone once said that to write well means to have experienced much. I hope you'll join me in expressing gratitude for all the joy and pain associated with being a writer. One does not have to be at peace to write. Nor does one have to be happy to be at peace. 
--
joylene

62 comments :

  1. I'm so sorry for your losses! I would struggle with October as well. But you're right, now is the time to remember what you've loved and lost and honor that!

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  2. There is a lot of wisdom in recognizing that one doesn't have to be happy to be at peace. December was our month of losses -- a daughter and two grandparents all in the week before Christmas. The nostalgia associated with the season often brought tears. I still can't sing 'Silent Night' without them starting. But I've been told that Dale Carnegie says "happiness doesn't depend on any external conditions, it is governed by our mental attitude," and I think that's true.

    Authors know all about persistence, so believe you can wait this out. Take joy from small things and know that October eventually becomes November. Maybe your camera can help. That's a gorgeous photo! Why don't you take your camera for a walk and see how many scenes of joy you can capture with it?

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    1. So right, Carol. There is an abundance of beautiful scenes I could be photographing. And it's lovely outside today. Thanks!

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  3. It's so true. And what strength you carry. Such a heartfelt post... thanks so much for this.

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  4. I'm so sorry to hear of your losses. Of course that makes this month very hard for you. Suffering affects our art, both in bad ways and good. My sympathies and wishes for health and contentment.

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  5. We often beat ourselves up for feeling bad, for mourning and missing people and things, but the truth is it's ok. Those feelings are part of life and part of who we are and I dare say, that as long as they don't take over our lives, they help us be better more compassionate people.

    Good for you for accepting that part of you and making a place for it. I'll be praying for you.

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  6. Joylene, so sorry for your losses.

    Although some tears may be shed for loved ones that are gone, let your heart fill with the joy and happy memories of their time here on earth.

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  7. Wise words, Joylene. I am so sorry for your losses over the years. I've not lost loved ones all in the same month, just the same year, and have struggled to work past it. I like this mindset. It is part of our history, but the productive thing to do is move forward. I also like the idea of how it shapes and enhances our writing. So glad you shared this. Blessings and hugs to you. :)

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  8. I am so sorry to hear about your losses. I wish you comfort and peace.

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  9. Wow, that's intense. Hopefully this October will be a good one.

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  10. ...but cookies are good...
    "One does not have to be at peace to write. Nor does one have to be happy to be at peace." Beautiful. And so true.

    The best thing we can do is remember.

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  11. thefisherladyOctober 3, 2012 8:52 PM

    For me it was Spring when my dad's health began failing and Summer's end and Autumn's beginnning when he was taken suddenly from us. My mom died on my birthday when I was eight. My first miscarriages were Christmas and Easter... I do not have a season when I cannot remember pain but I feel pain because we had so much love, so much hope and that cannot be crushed. So through my giving thanks each day there is a ribbon of sorrow caught in there. I sometimes get entangled but mostly it helps me remember how very blessed I was and am...

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    1. I know what you mean. We lost another son after Christmas. But it seems those first because they were the first deep wounds ... I'm not sure why they are harder for me to cope with. Combination of other things maybe. It doesn't matter. Thank you for your beautiful words.

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  12. I don't believe in suffering for art, but if one is suffering anyway . . .

    I think our culture is way too insistent on being relentlessly happy. Sorrow is also a part of life, and acknowledging that sorrow is a big step toward peace. Wishing you peace in all the months of the year.

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  13. I'm sorry for your loss, Joylene. I hope this October brings you beautiful things.

    I mentioned you on my first October post. Thank you, again :)

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  14. One does not have to be at peace to write. Nor does one have to be happy to be at peace.

    What you wrote above is so true, Joylene, so true.

    I'm sorry for your losses. It's hard to feel but not touch.

    I've thought to get a pro's help with my blog once I complete the background stuff for Rings of Trust. I can't seem to wrap my head around Apple or recover from Google's format change. It all makes me want to hit the road for Maine again. We drove up the center of the state once to cross into Canada and go to Nova Scotia. New Brunswick is beyond gorgeous. Another time we went via Toronto just to enjoy the ride back down. It's a small but lovely world that Brunswick touches both of us.

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    1. The colours are brilliant reds right now. I'm so far away, over 3000 miles. When we move there, Kittie, you and I have got to get together. I'll bring cookies!

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  15. I'm sorry that October symbolizes so much loss, Joylene. I'm thinking of you and your lost loved ones.

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  16. I'm so terribly sorry to hear about your losses. I hope that you are able to find the peace you are searching for, and your terrible heart ache may one day be healed.

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  17. I have a very nostalgic nature and for some reason I can't grasp, fall has always been a season of mixed feelings. I haven't lost family or friends during that season, but still I find myself looking outside the window and thinking of the years past with a certain pang. I thank God for all the good I have and recognize that it is this very nature that has always turn me for a notebook and a pen with which discharge the feelings inside my heart. Indeed our pain and our happiness make us who we are. I wish for you contentment, and that you keep turning your sadness into great books.

    Best of luck.

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  18. Sorry it's such a difficult month for you. But since you're aware of it, and know how it will make you feel, you can handle it. You're right, it will transfer into your writing.

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  19. "You don't have to be at peace to be happy" . . . my eyes welled up with those words. So true, and it's what my debut novel is all about. I love your picture of the pond/lake that looks so serene, but is probably bustling with creatures below. That's how I feel most days--calm on the surface but below the surface there is so much disorder. We must have that peace within ourselves first, the kind that only comes from God that we can't possibly understand, that somehow helps us to accept life's hard truths. Only then can we reach that deeper serenity, from the surface to the very bottom of our souls. I pray this type of peace to be with you this October, and always, and glad that you channel those things that have happened into your writing to help others. Nothing brings me more peace than snuggling up with a good book~hugs

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  20. Joy,
    In spite of all your heartaches, especially this month, you continue to be an inspiration to me.
    I love the name of this group! People (readers not writers)usually think we as writers "have it all together"! To that I say! HA HA....I praise the Lord and thank HIM everyday for you....and my fellow writers who know exactly what I go through all the time....insecurity!
    Love you....keep up the GREAT work you do for so many people.

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  21. Well put, Joylene. I'm wishing you a blissful month.

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  22. Hi Joylene,
    I wish I had visited your site sooner. For that, I'm sorry. Your heartfelt verbalisation becomes a form of therapy. Through the power, the wonder of your words, there is pain and there is hope.
    Dear friend, you inspire and through it all, we are here for you, here for each other. Blessings to you through this journey of reflection and the symbolism of it all.
    Gary

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    1. Your words mean more than I can say, Gary. Thank you.

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  23. I'm so sorry for your losses Joylene. This was very eloquently written. I can't possibly imagine what you've gone through, but I think that this will help others deal with their overwhelming sense of grief. Julie

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  24. Yeah, I agree you don't get over the life events that add melancholy, you accept them. No pity as requested, but here's a *hug*

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  25. This is so an emotional post, Joylene! It is so true and realistic!

    I love this quote, "One does not have to be at peace to write. Nor does one have to be happy to be at peace." It sums up everything that writers have to go through.

    Thanks for commenting and following my blog! Nice to meet you! *shake hands* :)

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  26. Well, I'm late visiting but wanted you to know I've seen the death anniversary effect on my mom and grandpa. Mom lost her husband and lost two of his sons to traffic accidents. I was six, and didn't ever learn to associate December as a sad time. My reaction has always been random, although very predictable at times like reading your blog. I cry easily. But perseverance does wonders. I'm at my sisters house helping after her surgery, just now getting time to visit other IWSG posts. Hang in there!

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  27. I'm sorry for your losses. *hugs*

    And I agree that joy and pain are associated with what we do.

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  28. Thank you, Joylene, for saying that. That we do not have to be happy to be at peace. That is so true, and we just don't realize it, do we?

    Love you!

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  29. I accidentally hit to send it....before I had a chance to send you a big hug, sweetie, for the memories of this month.
    Big pain, and it never gets smaller, we just grow more capable of carrying it as time goes.

    Hugs...

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    1. I'm so grateful for your support and good wishes, Carol. Hope your weekend is wonderful.

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  30. That's a beautiful picture. I am so sorry for your October losses and I hope you find your peace. I absolutely thing experiencing pain makes us better writers, but it is at extreme cost and sacrifice.

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  31. Joylene, thanks for sharing this precious portion of yourself. It brought a tear to my eye...
    God bless you.
    Nice to meet you.

    I also write in the suspense genre (well, I try... I'm still a beginner...) and I've discovered that there aren't too many writers in this genre... or am I looking in the wrong places?

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    1. You're right, Michelle. I hadn't thought of it much, but there really isn't a lot of us around. Well, there must be. Okay, I'm going to start a list. So far there's you and me. Good start.

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