We could all find this useful, Joylene.
Yes, Carole. It really helps to hear what readers think.
Best of luck to you. I hope you don't get torn up too much.
Thanks for that, Michael. The one fellow's comment kind of stung. But that's the truth, we write books that not everyone is going to love.
I just read and thoroughly enjoyed reading your last two posts. I too procrastinate laden down with self-doubt, and well, many of us do, but I appreciated your 'respect yourself' message :DI'm off to your see what they did with your edit Shah Xshahwharton.com
Very interesting, Joylene. I would definitely turn that first page. I didn't agree with his edits. I thought it was just fine as it was. Can't wait til this comes out.
Hi Joylene .. it's always interesting to have another's point of view - but .. I'll enjoy your book when it comes out ... cheers Hilary
Hey Joylene!Okay, I'm a bit confused. So, nothing new there then. Are you working on two new books at once? What I did just read over there seemed fine as it was. Nobody edits my crap. Sorry, one exception, Penny edits my crap.Have a good Sunday, eh.Gary
Hi Gary. That excerpt is something I wrote back in the 90s about the Vietnam War. I queried every agent I could, but nobody was interested in the war back then. Thought maybe I should pull it out of the drawer and try again.
Hey that's awesome!! Congrats. It gets good feedback too :)
I commend you for your bravery in submitting your first page to the flogger--just the name of the site would scare me off!! I disagreed with a few of his remarks too. I liked the idea of the icon on the table..quite a contrast between the woman of the house actual mean attitude and a loving Christ. Are you close to getting this book ready to sub? Can't wait!
Thanks, Janet. I actually wrote this book in the 90s and set it aside after numerous agents told me nobody was interested in the Vietnam War. I'm seriously considering pulling it out and brushing it off.
The Flogger? Yikes! You are brave. I'm heading over now-------------Writer In Transit
I really like the page, and wish I could get some feedback on my opening pages as well. What a great idea for a service/blog post
Thanks, Nigel. It was actually painless.
On my way over. I was once flogged by this man, lol. It was years ago. Can't even remember which story he looked at.
Thanks for checking it out, Cher.
Fresh eyes are great! Another perspective can be so helpful. Am actually reviewing a friend's book as we speak. :)Happy weekend!
I'm heading over to take a look. Joylene, I'm sorry about your two cats. I really, really feel for you and your husband. My heart aches for the sadness of it all. And, I think we're kindred sprits. Hope we get to meet one day and share meow stories over a cup of coffee.Well, girl, the garage is cleaned out--few words for hours of work. Oh, but muscles I didn't know I had ache!
Oh wow, that's a powerful beginning! I'd like to read that story. Poor kid!
Very exciting!!!! It is always nice to get editing help!
Strange... I remember heading over to Ray's site and leaving a comment there, but it doesn't seem to have 'stuck'. I went back to see what others had said, and my great wisdom is gone. Ah, well... better late than never, right? I can tell you again that I think I read the first chapter of ASSASSIN a few years ago... didn't you have it posted on another site? I liked it then and I like it now. I don't agree with most of Ray's suggested edits, although I did think one of the commenters had a valid point about shortening the location heading to simply, "Moscow, 1956". I hope this is a story that will soon be published so I can finally read the whole thing. :)
Thanks, Carol. The formatting didn't quite come across correctly. The heading is a good inch above the opening para.
Very exciting!! You shall have to let us know how it goes. 8-D
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