Friday, June 20, 2014

Strange Worlds Recipes

Please give a warm welcome for my guest Hank Quense. He's back with another post, this one is a recipe I'm not quite sure about; but hey, I'm a Canuck and we've only ever had roadkill grouse.  The part about the feathers I can attest to, though.

After you pirate borrow Hank's recipe, stop by if you will and visit me at C. Lee Mckenzie's blog. Although I'm here, I'm also there talking about the collaborative anthology I wrote with six fellow authors. Yes, I have super powers and can be in two places at once. When my boys were young, that confused them a lot. Now, not so much. 



Strange Worlds Recipes


My name is Burga.  Im warrior-cook.  Adventuring is my profession, but cooking is my passion and I love collecting new recipes to try.
Ive been a few short stories and the author, Hank Quense, has promised me a staring role in a novel, but the schmuck hasnt done anything about it. As a consequence, I have to share my recipes to get coins to buy spices and herbs. 
Below are two of my best recipes in my collection.

Lily Pad Bundles

No elfin feast ever begins without these delightful bundles. Cuisine: Elfin
Course: Appetizer
Burga Says: A refreshing change from 'ordinary' appetizers.  The pond scum lends a tasty piquant flavor.A good elf buddy of mine and me swapped a dozen recipes recently and this was one I got.  They make a great appetizer although non-elves often get sick from eating the bundles.

Time: One hour: start to finish
Servings: Twelve
Ingredients:
12 large lily pads
½ pound dried pond scum, chopped
½ pound frog tongues, chopped
1 pound wild onions, chopped
1 pound swamp mushrooms, chopped
1 quart cooking oil
Preparation:
1. Combine all ingredients except lily pads
2. In a heavy skillet, cook mixture until heated throughout
3. Remove from heat and cool.
4. Spread equal amounts of mixture on each lily pad
5. Roll up the lily pad and sealed the ends with a bit of water on a finger tip
6.  Drop into hot cooking oil and cook until lily pads turn golden.

Grilled Road Kill

An alien delicacy from Zaftan 31B.  Don't try to cook this one in a hurricane.  And don't ever try to do this indoors. 
Cuisine: Zaftan
Course: Main
Burga Says: Roadkill to Zaftans is a highly-prized delicacy and the presence of a freshly mutilated creature on the roads often sparks murderous disputes, providing even more roadkill
Time: Marinate 8 hours: grill 15 minutes
Servings: Two
Ingredients:
1 three pound roadkill roast
1 cup motor oil
1 quart ethanol
Preparation:
1. Don't bother to skin the meat. Any fur or feathers will burn off in the cooking process
2. If the roadkill isn't a uniform thickness, bash the thick part with a mallet until it thins out.
3. Combine one cup unused motor oil with one quart ethanol. Pour over meat and marinate overnight.
4. Move a grill at least ten yards from any building. Place meat on grill and pour marinade over it,
5. Ignite the grill using an electric sparked with at least ten feet of cable.
6. When the fire dies down, serve the meat.


My complete collection of recipes is a free download. http://strangeworldsonline.com/PDF%20files/SWCookbook.pdf







Hank Quense is the author of 50 published short stories along with four novels and three collections of stories. All of these are humorous and/or satiric scifi and fantasy. In the non-fiction area, he has over a dozen articles published on fiction writing and he's the author of the Fiction Writing Guides series and the Self-publishing Guides series. Both series consist of a number of ebooks. The Fiction Writing Guides and the Self-Publishing Guides are an outgrowth of his lectures on both subjects.



59 comments :

  1. That's a real crowd-pleaser of a recipe. I'll be sure to add pond scum and frog's tongues to my shopping list this week. :P

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    1. Glad to hear that, LG. I'm sure you'll be pleased with the taste. Have a great day.

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  2. Quite strange recipes, but unfortunately, I think I'd have to pass. ;)

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    1. That's okay, Cherie. I think a few passed. Thanks for visiting.

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  3. Well that definitely wins the award for the most unique recipe in history :-)

    Have a great weekend!

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    1. Thanks, Opt. I'll tell Burga. I'm sure he'll be happy to hear that.

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  4. Here in the South, I think a lot of people cook the grilled road kill during a hurricane...

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    1. Really? During a hurricane? Hmm. I don't know what to say. LOL

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  5. Now that's my kind of recipe. No messing with fur removal. Just into the fire and zap.

    Great to have you on my blog today, Joylene. Come by later to celebrate and bring some roadkill. I've got the Lilly Pads and more Pond Scum than necessary.

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    1. I hear say one can never have enough Pond Scum, Lee.

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    2. Well, well need to talk about that. However, I'm one to appreciate it, and now that recipes are coming out, I may find a market. The would put a whole new spin on scum.

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  6. Heh! Not sure I'll include these recipes in my collection, but they might be worth trying out next time all the relatives unexpectedly drop in for a week's visit. :)

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  7. That's what you do with roadkill all right.

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  8. Hi All. Pond scum is hard to find in certain regions. Be aware that elves are unscrupulous and often cut the scum product with flour. For all you folks in the lower 48, remember the 4th of July is upon us. Surprise your BBQ guests with these new recipes.

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    1. You're a strange dude, Hank. Happy BBQ'ing.

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    2. Thank you Joylene. Strange is good; boring is bad

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  9. Such interesting recipes - wonder how they'd go over at our next family gathering. Thanks for sharing!

    Joylene, I just knew you had super powers! Heading over to Lee's now. Happy weekend! :)

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  10. Hey Joylene,

    How's it goin', eh? Have you missed me? Been eagerly waiting for my highly collectable comment? Yes? No? Who is this guy? Anyway, I was over there as in the adorable Lee's site and noted the equally adorable you over at Lee's adorable site. Now I'm over at your site and wont click on Lee's link because then I would end up back there and then I would probably end up back here and and and.....

    Okay, hello to the illustrious Hank. Hank, dude, you need your own cooking show on television. Never have enough cooking shows on television. Your recipes are out of this world.

    Take care, Hank. Take care, Joylene, you Canuck, you!

    Your bestest groupie,

    Gary :)

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    1. I've missed you terribly, Gary. And your highly collectable comments. I shall add this one to the treasure chest I have hidden. And no, I'm not telling where. Yes! I'm here, I'm there. I'm pretty well everywhere. Me, Canuck, me!

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  11. Hi Klahanie
    Alas, fire prevention laws prohibit me from doing a cooking show/

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    1. Thanks for sharing that, Hank. Good to know.

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  12. Living in Northern Ontario, I'll have lots of opportunities to try the road kill recipe, but ... hm. Not sure :P

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    1. Jemi: For road kill recipe, if motor oil or ethanol are hard to come by, just use a quart or two of gasoline

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  13. Too bad I had to become vegetarian.

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    1. the lit pad bundles are vegan if you omit the tongues

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  14. Now those are really interesting strange world recipes. I'd give them a try, but not sure my tummy would be able to handle the unique ingredients. LOL.

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    1. I know from whereat you come, Susanne! Really!

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  15. I have been meat free for the past few months, so I won't be trying the roadkill recipe! The lilypad starter does sound unique. I might have to make a few substitutions if I give it a try. ;)

    Thanks for sharing!
    ~Jess

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    1. Oh, fear not, DMS. Apparently, (cough) Burga has vegan recipes!

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  16. The lilypad dish sounds a lot like stuffed grape leaves. I'm sure lilypads are just as delightful. And thanks for the roadkill recipe. If there's anything I hate it's having to skin or pluck my main course for dinner, so I'm thrilled to have a recipe that eliminates those tedious tasks. Thanks! :)

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    1. Burga is just happy to be of service, Lexa

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  17. Does the ethanol burn off?And will any old frog tongues do or do you recommended a specific kind?

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    1. I'm pretty sure ethanol will burn off, but you never now with alien recipes. A frog tongue is a frog tongue to my way of thinking.

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  18. Southpaw has a point.
    I think that there are about 4,000 different types of frogs, including toads. Do you recommend any specific species?
    Hank, you could market this as a delicacy. Who knows? After all, frogs legs are a delicacy in France, aren't they?
    Hi Joylene! *waving* You should try the flash fiction... it's exciting (or is it only me?)

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    1. Michelle. that is a great idea. Me and Burga can corner the market on frog's tongues. And maybe dried pond scum also. My books don't sell very well, so perhaps I'm in the wrong business

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  19. Well, this was surely different, Joylene, and just the blog post I needed to read to make some light radiate from this rough day. So thanks for sharing, Hank!
    As tempting as these "strange world recipes" sound, I think I will have to pass. But I will tell my characters about them. I'm sure several of them would love the Lily Pad Bundles. How clever! Your mind must be fascinating=)

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    1. Thanks you, Gina, but fascinating isn't the word most people use. Weird and bizarre get thrown around a lot.

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  20. Oh my wow on those recipes...tempting but...nope, lol! Love how your mind works I must say!

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    1. And yet to look at Hank, he seems so normal. LOL.

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    2. Being normal is sooooo tough at times.

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  21. that's awesome! too funny! what a great way to show a character's personality, by describing what they eat and how they make it!

    and Joylene - thanks for commenting on my broken branch falls blog tour!

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    1. Thanks for stopping by, Tara. I'm so glad you like Burga. I think he's single, but I'll check.

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    2. Burga is single, but dedicated to his passion. Even as we speak he's out collecting more recipes. Perhaps he'll share more with us someday

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  22. Pond scum! Yum!! LOL!! Them elves have the best food! :-) Take care
    x

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  23. HI Joylene and Hank .. Slugs and Snails and Puppy Dog tails .. this sounds a goodly brew ... a good bar-b-que basting sauce ..

    Just too much! Cheers to you both - Hilary

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    1. Cheers to you too, Hilary. Glad you enjoyed.

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  24. Entertaining! Great to know the characters, though by what the eat!

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  25. Many apologies, Joylene. I did not complete the author blog tour you kindly invited to me to participate in. My husband had his final cancer 'tidy up' op this week and I'm slowly emerging from the mayhem. So very sorry that it wasn't completed. Carole.

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    1. Not a problem, Carole. Just glad you're in the community.

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  26. Pond scum and frog tongues? Ugh, sorry, but think I'll start that diet I was putting off now. :-)
    Deb@ http://debioneille.blogspot.com

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