Friday, August 15, 2014

FNN interview: Hank Quense



Marcia Hammerhead: if there is anything worse than an author who writes genre trash, it's a prolific author who writes gene trash. My latest assignment is to interview, once again, prolific author of genre trash, Hank Quense. His newest genre trash is called Moxie's Problem. According to Quense, it is a coming-of-age novel that takes place against a backdrop of Camelot. If we're lucky, Quense will have left the lovely Camelot legends unchanged. I doubt that will happen. Well, I may as well get this onerous assignment over with.

MH: Mr Quense, in Falstaff’s Big Gamble, you utterly destroyed two of Shakespeare’s most famous plays, Othello and Hamlet. In Wotan’s Dilemma, you forever damaged Richard Wagner’s reputation and his Ring Cycle of operas. What possessed you to write yet another genre novel instead of a literary work that would enshrine your name in history? Nothing says talent like an incomprehensible work that befuddles critics and readers.
HQ: To me, literary works are boring. Thousands of words without any action. On the other hand, my genre trash, as you call it, is filled with action, humor, satire and entertainment. I love writing stories like this, Martha.

MH: Action, humor and entertainment have no place in real literature. True literary novelists rely on many, many words to hold the readers' attention. Are there any literary elements in your new novel?
HQ: I hope not. The story is about a teenage princess, Moxie, who struggles to come to grips with a reality that is quite different from the world she grew up in, her father's castle. The book also has a number of unusual activities in it.

MH: I'm sure I'll regret asking this, but what unusual activities are you talking about?
HQ: In my story I have a retelling of part of the Robin Hood legends. I have the witches from Shakespeare's MacBeth, and even the Tristan & Isolde legend, sort of. The Saxon invaders concentrate on beating the Knights of the Round Table football team.

MH: Good Heavens! This is even worse than I anticipated. How can you possibly justify all this disconnected nonsense in one story?
HQ: That was the easy part, Margo. I just sprinkled some scifi dust on the plot. Once I did that, I realized this Camelot wasn't the Camelot of the traditional legends. My Camelot is in a different parallel universe. So all bets are off and I'm limited only by my imagination.

MH: This is an outage, The Camelot traditions and legends are part of the English-speaking culture. How dare you play fast-and-loose with Camelot.
HQ: Sorry, Margaret. It's my job to rewrite stuff like this in order to entertain readers.

MH: That's preposterous. The purpose of literature isn't to entertain readers, it's purpose is to give them weighty subjects to discuss at prestigious cocktail parties. Since we are so far apart, I must terminate this interview. You've wasted enough of my time. And my name is Marcia!
HQ: Thanks for talking to me, Mary.



Hank Quense is the author of 50 published short stories along with four novels and three collections of stories. All of these are humorous and/or satiric scifi and fantasy. In the non-fiction area, he has over a dozen articles published on fiction writing and he's the author of the Fiction Writing Guides series and the Self-publishing Guides series. Both series consist of a number of ebooks. The Fiction Writing Guides and the Self-Publishing Guides are an outgrowth of his lectures on both subjects.

52 comments :

  1. I was completely unfamiliar with Hank and his work. Thanks for introducing him to me.

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    1. Thanks for stopping by, Susan. My kooky friend Hank visits on the 3rd Friday of every month.

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    2. See, Susan, that's my problem in a nutshell. I'm famously unknown.

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  2. The Knights of the Round Table have a football team? I'll have to include them in my draft this year...

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    1. Oh, good move, Alex. It'll spice things up for sure.

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    2. this is "football" as in soccer. This is bloody Britain after all.

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  3. Camelot in a parallel universe? That does sounds interesting.

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    1. Once I found out this Camelot was in a parallel universe, it spurred my creativity.

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    2. Ooh, if you need your creativity stirred, I know Marcia's available!

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    3. Marcia's consultation fees are quite high.

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  4. I think I'd buy it for the cover alone. It's fabulous!

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    1. LOL. I get where you're coming from, Wendy!

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    2. I'll have to tell my cover artist, Gary Tenuta, about your comment

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  5. I think Marcia's convinced me that I don't ever want to interview Hank, but I may have to read his book, sometime... maybe. I wonder if Robin Hood manages to steal anything of value from MacBeth's witches to use for a bet on the game when the Saxons play the Knights.

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    1. P.S. I hope the wind is blowing that China Nose wildfire away from your direction!

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    2. Carol, you're giving the plot away.

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    3. Hi Carol. The wind arrived, thank goodness. We can see the sky again. Sure makes one appreciate the deep blues.

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  6. What a fun interview! I loved the "sci-f dust" response because it really does allow an author to do a lot. :) Best of luck to Hank!
    ~Jess

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    1. Thanks for your well wishes, DMS. The scifi dust was a stroke of genius (IMHO) because I was getting worried about my lack of an explanation for all the bizarre events in the book. The scifi dust saved me from doing any explanations. All I did was put a warning label on the first page of the book.

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  7. I am astounded at your mixture of characters and location. Camelot in another universe? Ridiculous! How in the world? I must talk to Marcia. Entertain readers? What an incredible idea. tut tut. (loved that interview, Hank. I must introduce you to I.B. Nosey, the official unofficial reporter in cyberspace. You and IB would make a wacky, zany pair. Best wishes!!)

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    1. Thanks, J.Q. I think Faux News Network has an opening for a cyberspace reporter.

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    2. I can't believe Nosey hasn't met Marcia yet. They could very well be met for each other. Think! A lovely Wedding in Juno, Alaska with a herd of moose as attendants!

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    3. Oh, news of you gets around, girlie. That's why I run like a loose Canadian goose in the other direction! Aaaiii!

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  8. Literature - "an incomprehensible work that befuddles critics and readers."
    Yes! I thought I was the only one who was befuddled. Nice to see I'm not alone. Go genre writers! :)

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    1. Lexa, I think many readers agree with me, only they're afraid to admit it. Go plots and adventures!!

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  9. Greetings, Midgett Dummerdead! This is I.B. Nosey, your official unofficial reporter. As you're aware, I-- huh? *shuffles paper* Marcia Hammerhead? *frowns* Nah, the name is Midgett Dummerdead. See? It says so right here in the email Hank Quense sent over.

    Anyhoo, Midgett, whadda ya do with Camelot? You made King Artie's round table square - AGAIN???

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    1. No, it's still round. One of the changes is that the Knights and the Saxons don't fight with swords and shields. The fight on the football field. And both sides play dirty!

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    2. Mr. Nosey, what a privilege! Your humble servant agrees with everything you said.

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  10. I love mash-up type stories that retell classics. Great interview.

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    1. Me Too, Lynda. I especially love rewriting (screwing up?) Shakespeare's plays. Or as I like to think of it, bring them into the 21st century.

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  11. Scifi dust. Can I have some for real life?

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    1. scifi dust is hard to find and it's expensive.

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    2. I'll talk to Marcia and see if she knows where you can get some, TB.

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  12. Hah! Genre-trash. Whew! That's a good one. What an amazing interview. Knights of the Round Table football team... I think I almost lost it on that line.

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    1. Space limitations (and modesty) prevent me listing all of the unusual activities and events that can happen in a parallel universe once the scifi dust takes hold

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    2. So glad you enjoyed it, Crystal. Yes, Marcia is a treat.

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  13. Imagine having an interview with an interviewer who's so opinionated and opposes whatever you say. :-) I had fun reading it--enough to pique my interest, and check out Hank's works.

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    1. Thanks so much for stopping by, Sittie. I know you're only blogging once a month now, but I look forward to reading your IWSG in September. Take care.

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  14. Thank you SittieCates
    All of Joylene's readers can get an ebook copy of Moxie's Problem at half price from Smashwords. Use discount code xe34v: go to https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/448914

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  15. Whew! What an interview. :)

    I hope you're having a great weekend, Joylene!

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    1. It was a wonderful weekend, Carrie. Thanks for stopping by.

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  16. What an amazing interview, loved reading it! Congratulations!

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  17. It's always fun when Hank comes to visit. I'm thinking I need to invite him to my next picnic. :) Have a great week!

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    1. That would some picnic, Karen. LOL. Thanks for visiting.

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    2. Thanks Karen. And would the picnic be located in the Northeast?

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