Friday, September 19, 2014

FNN - Reporter Stacey Conundrum

FAUX NEWS NETWORK

We make it up so you don't have to

FNN Congressional reporter Stacey Conundrum filed this report. Congress has called for an outright ban on a new drug.  The drug, called Perfecto from Shoestring Pharmaceuticals, is currently prescribed to eliminate persistent problems with ingrown toenails. Unfortunately, an unanticipated and troubling side-effect has been found according to new research.
The research revealed that the use of the drug for as short a period as one month greatly increases the brain's ability to solve difficult problems.  Already, these drug users have applied for patents for cars that run on air, novel anti-cancer treatments, inexpensive but powerful pollution controls and a design that uses worm holes for faster-than-light space travel.
These creative ideas have alarmed a large number of industries who see their products become obsolete or irrelevant and their profits disappearing.
Corporate lobbyists have swarmed over Congress and made their unhappiness known. Congress has responded by launching a dozen committees and subcommittees to investigate the drugs side-effects and analyze the dangers of continued use.
Meanwhile, Congressional leaders are not waiting for the committee reports. Legislation has been introduced that will immediately ban the drug until the side-effect can be eliminated. Congressional observers say the new bill will pass both the House and the Senate without opposition from either Party.
Shoestring Pharmaceuticals says their is drug safe and they are working to isolate the cause of the brain power increase.
The National Security Agency has called for Congress to seize the company and turn over all corporate information to NSA for national security reasons.
Ms. Conundrum will continue to monitor this situation.

Hank Quense is the author of 50 published short stories along with four novels and three collections of stories. All of these are humorous and/or satiric scifi and fantasy. In the non-fiction area, he has over a dozen articles published on fiction writing and he's the author of the Fiction Writing Guides series and the Self-publishing Guides series. Both series consist of a number of ebooks. The Fiction Writing Guides and the Self-Publishing Guides are an outgrowth of his lectures on both subjects.
Strange Worlds OnlineHank's Amazon PageHank's Blog PageSelf-publishing Guides

26 comments :

  1. Hi Joylene and Hank .. or should I say Ms Conundrum ... the human is not making life easy for itself ... and just doesn't realise what the drain is going on - or will go on if if we don't do some kicking butt for life ...

    Michelle wrote a humourous tale for kicking Cancer out ... and I thought you and Hank might enjoy the story: http://www.writer-in-transit.co.za/cancerville-a-humorous-tale/

    It's a good read .. for such a challenging time for anyone ...

    Happy weekend ... Hilary

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    1. Thanks, Hilary. I did go and visit Michelle's post. Wonderful!

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  2. I totally have ingrown toenails - I need that medicine! I guess I'll have to order quick before they ban it, then I'll start writing brilliant bestselling Sci-fi! :)

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    1. I've heard that too, Lexa -- healthy toenails is the key to writing bestsellers!

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  3. I love that curing one ailment could have such positive side effects. :) Often the side effects seems worse to me than the initial problem. The thing I find amazing is how often people see things like this and believe it instantly- sharing it all around the world, without doing any checking.


    Thanks for sharing. Very creative!
    ~Jess

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    1. It is amazing that so many people believe anything that's in print. Or on a TV new program

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  4. I'll take a pound, then worry about the dementia later. Much better to have healthy toes than to have the ability to solve problems.

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    1. Health toes are the key to happiness

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    2. Hank is so right about that, Cheryl. But let me add that clipped nose hairs is another key to happiness.

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  5. "We make it up so you don't have to" - love it! Will have to keep an eye out for future reports by Ms. Conundrum. Thank you, Hank and Joylene, for sharing this. Have a great week!

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    1. Yeah, we make it up, Karen. Someone has to do it.

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    2. Have a super week yourself, Karen. And thanks for visiting.

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  6. My go-to source for made up news! :)

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    1. Thanks, Carrie. Beware of substitute news sources who don't disclose they make it up.

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  7. We all need worm holes for faster-than-light space travel!

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    1. Too true. There are uncountable planets that we haven't polluted yet. We have to get there before alien races colonize them and prevent us from dumping our trash.

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  8. Surely there can be no greater threat to the government than clever citizens! Although I do wonder about the cleverness of people with some of the dunces they select to run (or ruin) things. ;-)
    Thank you for commenting on my little post at http://khel666.blogspot.com

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    1. It was our pleasure, B. Thanks for stopping by.

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  9. I need faster travel for anywhere. This was wonderfully fun :)

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