Friday, March 20, 2015

FNN: No Electric Cars




Exclusive to Faux News Network:

Today Hank Quense, CEO and Chief Author at Strange Worlds Publishing made the following announcement at a press conference.

“With all the buzz about electric cars and the range of companies reputed or rumored to have one under development, I want to assure everyone that Strange Worlds Publishing will NOT design, develop and produce an electric car.

“An electric car simply doesn’t fit into our business model and would require extensive resources that we don’t have at this time. Our job at Strange Worlds Publishing is to produce parodies that entertain readers, not to manufacture hardware.

“Producing an electric car did have some attractive innovations, but they weren’t enough to sway us. One option was to factory-equip the car with a bookshelf and stock it with a copy of all our print books. Another option was to equip the sound system with an audiobook copy of our entire catalog. These pull-through sales simply weren’t enough to overcome the logistics problem associated with the development.


“While we’re discussing hardware, I should mention that Strange Worlds Publishing will also not design, develop or produce smartphones, electric guitars, food processors, electric motor scooters or smart watches.

“We will dedicate ourselves to our core values and continue to produce top-notch parodies. We will hold nothing sacred in our quest for the perfect parody.” 



Hank Quense is the author of 50 published short stories along with four novels and three collections of stories. All of these are humorous and/or satiric scifi and fantasy. In the non-fiction area, he has over a dozen articles published on fiction writing and he's the author of the Fiction Writing Guides series and the Self-publishing Guides series. Both series consist of a number of ebooks. The Fiction Writing Guides and the Self-Publishing Guides are an outgrowth of his lectures on both subjects.
Strange Worlds OnlineHank's Amazon PageHank's Blog PageSelf-publishing Guides
Hank's fiction works 

33 comments :

  1. Replies
    1. No electric harmonicas neither.

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    2. Alex, don't tell Hank I said this, but it's probably a good thing.

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  2. Perhaps you'd bend to consider electric toasters? I think there could be value in one that fits an assortment of books and could pop up a hot read when the occasion demands one. ;)

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  3. Thanks for your suggestion, Carol, but toasters have a tendency to fry their bluetooth connections and that makes the wrong book pop up. MIT is addressing the problem.

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    Replies
    1. Hank, it's amazing how you know EVERYTHING. Good thing you'll on the job.

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    2. Joylene, it's easy when you make it all up.

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  4. Replies
    1. Can you speak up, please?

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    2. I wish they could invent a TV that turned the sound off during the commercials.

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  5. Good to hear because top notch parodies are in demand! :)
    ~Jess

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    Replies
    1. A question: Which parody should I do next: combining Chaucers Canterbury Tales with Verne's Around the World in 80 Days or combing Shakespeare's Romeo& Juliet with the Merchant of Venice. I'm torn about which one to do next.

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    2. I can understand why you're torn, Hank.

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  6. I think a three dimensional printer to make a car that also is a popup toaster for books.

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    Replies
    1. This is a great idea, Susan. There is technical problem however, because of all the language choices that the book could be published in.

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    2. They could spit out a list of languages and we just pick the one we like best. Eh???

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  7. Well, I do understand this decision, one must be practical about such ventures. I do like that audio book option, though! . :)

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    Replies
    1. we liked that option also. Maybe we'll develop it in another product.

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  8. Indeed - keep producing those parodies! Though if a car had an entire catalog of audio-books loaded in it, it would definitely be a selling point for me.

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    Replies
    1. Maybe I should make audio books of my stuff. Alas, I din;t know how to do that.

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    2. Yup, I agree, Lexa. Hank is definitely onto something.

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  9. Aww, man! I really wanted the car with a bookshelf. ;)

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  10. Carrie, if people keep saying that, I may have to rethink my business plan

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  11. Specialization is the key to success. Parody away!

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