Wednesday, August 3, 2016

IWSG: Stressing


It’s time for another group posting of the IWSG: Insecure Writer’s Support Group! Time to release our fears to the world – or offer encouragement to those who are feeling neurotic. If you’d like to join us, click on the tab above and sign up. We post the first Wednesday of every month and encourage everyone to visit at least a dozen new blogs and leave a comment. Your words might be the encouragement someone needs.

IWSG is the brainchild of our noble Ninja Captain and leader Alex J. Cavanaugh

Our hashtag is @IWSG

The awesome co-hosts today are:

Tamara Narayan, Tonja Drecker, Ellen @ The Cynical Sailor, Lauren @ Pensuasion, Stephen Tremp, and Julie Flanders! 

Please stop by and thank them for their time. 



August Question:

What was your very first piece of writing as an aspiring writer? Where is it now? Collecting dust or has it been published? Add this question and your answer to your post.

As you may have heard, here at IWSG, one of our brilliant Admins came up with the idea of posting a specific question each month for those who were at a loss as to what to post about. I think this is a wonderful idea. However, this month I'm not participating because, if you've read my profile, you've already heard the answer. I began my first novel when I lost my dad in 1983 in hopes that I could write his story and keep him alive. Only problem was I didn't know his story other than as my dad. As you can imagine, the book lacked a certain appeal. But the seven years spent writing it left me hooked on the process.  

Instead of rehashing the same old woe is me I lost my dad, I would like to whine. 

Did I mention I don't enjoy whining? 

When I was growing up, whining was never considered an option. Nor was bragging; another reason why marketing is difficult for me.  My parents believed in hard work, eating humble pie, and always being ready to help someone; it's only a showoff who blows her own horn. 

Which is fine because I actually don't feel sorry for me, I'm just feeling stressed. If it weren't for prayer, meditation and Tai Chi, I'd be in trouble. On a scale of 1 to 10 stress-wise, I'm currently 5. I've been 1. I've also been 12. Five isn't a big deal. I'll get through this. There's so much to be grateful for: My life, my family, my friends, my publisher, my cats, my writing buddies, food, wine; not necessarily in that order. Everything always works out for me. 

But life is changing and I don't adapt well to change. I like structure, order, a little complacency. 

The home we built 24-years ago has been on the market for a total of four summers. (We took last summer off) The scary part... I don't think this is the year it will sell either. 

I'm not sleeping well. I'm behind on marketing, critiquing, blogging, editing, commenting, and all my other online duties. My computer is ready to croak. I'm either spending beautiful summer days inside cleaning a well lived in 2500 sq. ft house (3 floors) or trying to get my computer to unfreeze. 

Then there are the gardens, the lawns, the deck to tend to when it's not pouring out. How can two seasoned human beings, two senior cats and visiting family (active grandchildren) make such a mess? How would a faller feel if he fell 40 trees and returned the next day to find they'd all grown back? That's what it feels like to have your house on the market. 

Thanks for listening. I needed to get this off my chest. Doesn't fix the problem of me trying to get everything done that I need to do before Matowak's release on November 1, 2016--BUT--I can mark this post off my list! 

One down, 99 to go.

I'm off to meditate for a bit, then I'll meet you back at your blog. But before I go, last week I had a Rafflecopter for Matowak Playing Cards.  I'm thrilled to announce the winner is:

(drumroll...)   


Juneta Key!







Next month's question: 

September - How do you find the time to write in your busy day?



62 comments :

  1. Sorry your place hasn't sold. I'm sure that really adds to the stress.

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    1. Thanks, Alex. Yes, it's worrisome. Thank goodness for IWSG Wednesday!

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  2. Sorry to read about the stress, Joylene.
    Hopefully your place will be sold soon and then things will start to normalise...

    Your words resonated: "My parents believed in hard work, eating humble pie, and always being ready to help someone." Me too. I come from the EXACT same place.

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    1. I knew that about you, Michelle. Can't help but notice. Thanks, eh.

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  3. Trying to sell your house must be so stressful. And then the moving when you do sell it... I wish you the best with everything.

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  4. Every not and then we need to get things off of our chest. We're not looking for answers, just taking a moment to vent and that is okay. In fact, it's healthy. I'm glad you vented. All the best with selling your house. I hope it sells this summer.
    Shalom aleichem,
    Patricia

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    1. Thanks, Pat. I enjoy your blog today, as usual.

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  5. I so feel your pain and pressure. I admire your courage, sense of humor, and snatching moments to meditate. This is the perfect venue to vent, whine, and burst into joy. This too shall pass. You have a worldwide support team. I know the right buyer is being attracted to your lovely home.

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  6. I can so relate to the being behind in housework, yardwork, and all the marketing/online duties. That's me perpetually. September's question almost had me breaking out in hysterical laughter.
    I don't handle change/transitions well, either. Best of luck with selling your house! The right person for it has to be out there somewhere.

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    1. Thanks kindly, Lori! Enjoyed your post today.

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  7. House selling is stress, especially when it takes awhile. And then the move isn't any better. Hang in there!

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  8. I believe we're living parallel lives. The one difference is I haven't put our house on the market. Instead, I've taken on the job of a second one, so I've doubled all that maintenance stuff you listed. I was trying for simplification. I got complication. And, yes, to meditation. I use that and yoga to keep above water. Namaste.

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  9. We can't do it all. So why stress?

    At least you don't have to stress marketing much. You have two of us working our butts off on that item.

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    1. I know. Lol that actually makes me feel worse because I'm not pulling my weight. Which is a good reason to diet. Thanks for all you do, Diane.

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  10. Wow! I thought I had it bad with all the things I have to do around the house. It's not easy to write when you're stressed. I can't concentrate on writing if I know there's something else I should be doing.

    I've only sold a house once, and I remember being stressed out that it took six months. Good luck with your house.

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    1. I know. Who thought it could be this hard. Our problem, we live on a lake and that is a lifestyle not too many home owners want. Thanks, Ken.

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  11. Ugh, having a house on the market is stressful for even a few months. And there's the helpless feeling you get when demand is low or non-existent and there's nothing you can do about it. That's huge stress. Glad you vented a little. Adding my best wishes to everyone elses. And a hug.

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    1. Thanks, my dear friend. Hope your books are selling like candy. Best to you and yours.

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  12. I'm kind of in a similar mode. I feel overwhelmed, but in reality, it's all small stuff. I need to get a very messy home under control before my parents visit next month. My daughter need a birthday party this month. I have several more guest blogs to write for my book (which is a privilege, but still time consuming). I would love to dive into a new writing project, but with my kids home, the time just isn't there.

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    1. Be kind to yourself, Tamara. I doubt your parents care if your house is messy. It'll give your mum something to do. Just kidding. I remember my parents' visits. Good luck with the cleaning.

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  13. Life can be hard or harder. The good news is it never lasts forever. :-)

    Anna from elements of emaginette

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    1. So true, Anna. Our resistance just makes it tougher on us. All things happen for a reason. Thank you.

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  14. Wow. That's quite the uphill battle, but I'm sure you'll get through! I hope!

    Thank you for stopping by my blog. This is my first post, so I completely butchered it. Tehe. You were my first stop today. Keep your chin up and take care of yourself.

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  15. I'm feeling you. We hope to put our house on the market next year and it's so big we're afraid of difficulty in selling it.

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    1. I know. Yet adventure calls and we must answer. Thanks, Susan.

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  16. I have been trying to find ways to de-stress. I've recently picked up meditating and I'm liking it. Lately, I have been really stressed and feeling overworked and down, so I need to find more ways to calm myself.

    I'm glad that so many are enjoying the monthly questions. :)

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    1. It was a great idea, Chrys. Take care. Meditate. I promise it'll help.

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  17. Whooboy, that stress doesn't sound fun. I hope and pray there comes a buyer for your place. At least you're celebrating the small victories!

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  18. Sorry to hear that you've been stressed. I can relate a bit - lots going on lately that has me all tense. Big picture, most of the stuff matters little, but sometimes it's hard to get perspective. Will pray that you work through your stress and come out smiling on the other side. :) Sending love and hugs your way!

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    1. Thanks for the prayers and hugs Karen. I appreciate it more than I can say.

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  19. The ToDo lists are always so long - and when you tick off 1, several more seem to jump on the other end! Keep up with your stress reducers - they sound great.
    Good luck with the house ... and all the rest!

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  20. I can relate - we had to sell my mom's house after she passed away and it was nerve-wracking. We did sell it but not before a tree crashed through the roof and we had to have insurance pay for the repairs. I felt like my mom had been attacked (silly, I know, because she wasn't even alive when it happened). I was so protective of the house. Glad you have prayer and meditation to help. And wine, you can't beat wine! Do you like chai tea? I find that it helps me relax. Congratulations on your new book coming out this fall. I love your cover design for Broken but not Dead. Keep up the good work - you are doing well!

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    1. Thanks so much, Diane. And thanks for your wonderful post today.

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  21. I wouldn't call that whining, I'd call it sharing. Sometimes, we need to share what's going on. It helps. I can definitely relate to property hanging out on the market way too long. It can make you feel helpless as there often isn't a lot you can do to make property move except lower the price which isn't always ideal.

    I'm loving the monthly question prompts. I'm not sure which admin thought it up, but kudos to them. Great idea.

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    1. Ellen, it was Chrys who thought up the question. She's astonishing. Thanks for visiting.

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  22. We all need to unburden. That’s just one of the many advantages to IWSG. It took nearly a year for my first house to sell. Very stressful. Not only keeping it pristine 365/24/7, but real estate agents would show up at the door without calling first.

    I'm ashamed to admit these days that insomnia provides my most productive writing interludes.

    VR Barkowski

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    1. I used to do well with insomnia, but then one day that changed. Maybe it'll change back.

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  23. We're not selling a house but looking for a place to move and I find that stressful too, so I do get it. Technically my roommate is looking for a place to buy but cannot find one that fits if she does something happens and it does not work out. I can image being the one trying to sell it too.@@

    The only thing worse, they say, is building a new house or a wedding.

    Hope things settle down for you and your spirits and energy pick up.

    Yeah me, that was a surprise. Thank you.
    Juneta @ Writer's Gambit


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    1. A wedding could be, but at least there is a date. Thanks, Juneta.

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  24. I'll say a prayer that your house sells soon! And I always forgot about this prompt, lol!

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  25. Best wishes on lowering that stress level and for selling the house. Prayers and hugs

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  26. Hi, Joylene, I'm sorry to hear you're under such stress. Gosh, that must be awful - like living in limbo - not good for you on any level. I really do wish good fortune for you in the months to come. House, sold! :-)

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  27. Hoping you find a buyer very soon. I know well what stress can do, as this last year has been bad with our move to the US - now imminent. At least we didn't have the problem of selling our mobile home as such - park owner is buying it back. However, buying new one was tough.

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    1. I bet it was. That's what we plan to do when we sell, move 3000 miles east. Thanks for stopping by, Roland.

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  28. I suppose you've tried changing real estate agents? I have some friends who just made a big moved, the stress I saw them go through was something. I look at our small home and I can't imagine. 30 years of living and we've accumulated...

    Good thing you've got meditation to help. Remember to breathe.

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    1. We're on our 3rd agent. We've lowered our price. Our agent says it's a lifestyle that only a few can live. Makes sense, but doesn't help. Thanks, Bish.

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  29. Sorry to hear about all the stress you've been under, Joylene, you've certainly got a lot going on. I hope your house sells soon, the right buyer must be out there. It's a good thing you're doing meditation and Tai Chi! Thanks for taking the time to visit my blog - it's good to meet you. Hugs.

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    1. Thanks so much, Debbie. Nice to meet you, too. See you soon.

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  30. I too am feeling the stress this summer and it's hit a record 20 at times, but I'm not going to go into detail, as much as I might like too! :)
    I worry too that your problem will be ours one day, but until then I've got enough on my plate!
    Wishing you peace during meditation and success this selling season, they do say it's a better year this year. May it all go your way!
    Let me know if I can help when your book hits the shelves. My blog welcomes you!

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  31. I'm sorry I took this long to get around to visiting your IWSG post and wonderful blog. You see, I'm suffering from the same problem as you - so much to do, so little time to do it. Decorating, gardening, apple harvesting, work, family, friends, and a myriad of other activities. It's exhausting, isn't it?

    I really hope you start to feel better soon and your house does sell. Four years would test the patience of the sanest individual.

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Thank you for visiting my blog. Please come in and sit for while. We will talk about writing. We will share our dreams. Then I will serve tea and cookies. Home made and Gluten Free.